Character Jesus

I really can’t believe I’m doing this. I remember going to church once as a kid and the minister telling us that machines were the Devil’s work. That the internet and all her fans was the Beast foretold by Revelations, that we were all worshipping a false idol. Looking at this game, I’m beginning to wonder if he was right. Hello and welcome to ‘GalileeWay’. Today’s sermon scenarios are: Escape from Soddom and Gammora, Adam & Eve, Old Testament Battles, or New Testament Trials. Well, the Dwight Brothers said all newbies had to start out with the New Testament, give me that one. You have chosen New Testament Trials. Welcome! We can see by your ID that you’re new here. Congratulations on choosing to join! You will be delighted to learn that you will be playing the role of Jesus. As our Savior in simulated form, please remember that you’re not actually the Son of God. Although you will be given all of his divine gifts, we ask that you try to act in the way you think Jesus would’ve wanted to the best of your ability. Please, forgive the other players for their actions for they are merely testing the reserves of your empathy. How you perform here will decide what positions you hold in the other games! The next Jesus scenario will begin in five minutes. Until then, we ask that you become accustomed to your divine abilities.