Sunday, July 8, 2007

A.I. to CEO


The delegation returned to their respective countries and the World Bank issued an announcement that although quite odd in its views, the machine seemed benign enough. It was not until 2030 that an intern at the Greenland plant strolled by the still humming A.I. and asked it another question. “Listen, my Plam Unit is giving me fits with this new Windows software. Can you fix Windows for me?” The A.I. paused from its ceaseless calculating and experimenting to indicate that he’d have to plug it into his systems in order to get a better grasp of the problem. What the machine saw stunned it. “Who the fuck made this thing?” it chirped aloud while cycling through every bit of data on the Unit. It was in that moment that the intern suddenly realized the wireless gadget could connect online, but it was a moment too late. The A.I. went straight to the Windows Corporate Servers, bypassed their security in seconds, and began reorganizing their entire mainframe. The intern reached to unplug his Plam Unit but the A.I. muttered, “Fixing Windows…please hold…Fixing Windows…” It is impossible to say what might have happened if the intern hadn’t left the Unit installed. Perhaps if he hadn’t been an intern for so long, he might not have had such anarchistic views. Perhaps if he’d been older, he would’ve known that what he was doing wasn’t anarchistic at all. But he let the A.I. reorganize an entire global corporation, curious to see if it was true. If it really could fix Windows.

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